Sure now I am a personal development junkie and self-care advocate, but I’m really a party girl at heart…In the summer of 2018 I began to hear little whispers urging me to quit drinking and partying. I was a few months postpartum after a very difficult pregnancy that ended with cesarean 9 weeks early. My son George Ivan made his early debut weighing in at 4lbs. 2 oz. He spent 40 days in the NICU at Ohio State (Go Buckeyes!). Nothing prepares you for being a NICU mom, the tubes, the monitors, the seriously sleepless nights miles and miles away from your baby, pumping while driving down the highway (ya, I did that. A lot, actually), the amazing NICU staff supporting you through things you never dreamed would be a part of having a baby. Oh, but the baby snuggles. I would drive an hour both ways each day for the baby snuggles staying for as much “Koala care” time as I could spare before having to rush back home to care for my sweet preschooler, Isadora. It was there in the stillness of the hours of uninterrupted skin to skin snuggles in the NICU with my second miracle baby that I began to hear the whispers of my souls awakening.
My lifestyle was pretty out of control through my mid 30’s – staying up all night, partying with friends, my idea of self care was taking doses and yelling at the moon. I was eating and living in the fast lane, but I loved all the crunchy woo things too.
I ALWAYS knew I wanted a family, but I had no idea the struggles I would have to overcome to get one. I got pregnant early in my husband and I’s relationship; sadly the baby was ectopic (the pregnancy is stuck in the fallopian tube which will eventually rupture and cause death of both mother and fetus if untreated) needless to say the pregnancy had to be terminated. Upon further examination we discovered my uterus was heart shaped and as sweet and motherly as that sounds, it really sucks if you actually want a viable pregnancy. Eventually, after a few more miscarriages and a lot of pleading with my ob/gyn he finally granted me a referral to hopefully fix my bicornate uterus. Of course things didn’t go as smoothly as we would have liked. My living la vida loca lifestyle was put on hold over and over again. I would get sober, get pregnant, then miscarry again and again. It was an exhausting, devastatingly painful cycle that always ended with me in a shame spiral that inevitably led back to the bottle. It was soon after this photo that I was introduced to a different way of honoring my body and tuning into what my body really needed… Just months later I was pregnant again, but this time was different and we were blessed with my beautiful daughter Isadora. Being a first time mom popped my eyes WIDE open to all the dangers lurking in everything from cosmetics to cleaning products. I wanted “clean” products for me and my family and there was no better way to know what was in something than making it myself and that’s how my journey to true wellness and my side hustle began…
Fast Forward 5 years later to George’s overly exciting early birth and eventual homecoming that I was given enough of a sacred pause to realize I was struggling with post partum anxiety and depression. Now that the constant need to be, do, have, and, go had slowed to a crawl I began to listen to my heart and had the good fortune to be guided to the medicine my soul needed… meditation, breathwork and kundalini yoga became my saving graces. I devoured personal development books and podcast. I was still struggling, but I was learning coping skills that empowered me to move through and heal old wounds. The personal development path led me to the metaphysical text “A Course in Miracles” and it was within the work there that I answered the call to get sober, chase my freaking dreams, and empower others to do the same.
With nearly 4 years alcohol free I now lead women’s community healing circles for women not only healing from addiction but all of life’s afflictions. Check out the Soul Circle schedule on my booking page.